My brief Review
This is the most hope-filled, biblical and realistic book I have ever read in this subject. Powlison has a great way of exposing sexual sin, the hurt, brokenness, and shame it brings to the offended and offender and at the same time point to the ever freeing Grace of God. I also love how he doesn't promise a one and done solution but a realistic picture of progress in killing sin. Although this book has sexual brokenness as its target the truths it explores are applicable to any sin that ensnares believers. I am currently reading it to prepare a talk on this subject and I would recommend it to pastors, counselors, anyone and everyone who wants a good gospel view of the fight with sexual sin.
Notes and highlights for Making All Things New by Powlison, David
Introduction
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Our sexuality was designed to be a willing servant of love . It becomes distorted by our willfulness or our fear . It is being remade into a willing servant of love . Love makes sexuality like a laser beam : its power under control , its intensity focused , nothing wasted or promiscuously scattered .
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God began a comprehensive good work in you . He will complete what he has begun . Wrongs are made right , and , to quote Julian of Norwich , “ all shall be well , and all shall be well , and all manner of thing shall be well . ” 1 You will flourish in a garden of safety and joy .
1 Getting Oriented
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In order to renew anything , we must have a vision for what it is intended to be , for what’s gone wrong , and for how to bring about transformation .
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When husband and wife join in intercourse , the One who sees in the dark sees exactly what they are doing and says , “ It is very good . ” The private intimacy of marriage is public before the God who made male and female , who made their union good . Sexual intimacy is intended to flourish within trustworthy fidelity . It is meant to express love in the generosity and gladness of mutual giving . It bears fruit in children , if God gives that gift . The “ one flesh ” of marriage is such a good thing that it serves as a central metaphor for the relationship between Jesus Christ and his people . To see sexual immoralities as wrong is not to be nervous about sexuality . Christian faith envisions sexual joy before the eyes of the holy God . Neither immorality nor prudishness understands that .
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Jesus comes forgiving and changing the immoral . He bridges the chasm between sordid and glorious . He invites us to cross over from death to life . What was perverted can be converted . To disagree with immorality is not simply to condemn the immoral . It is to identify particular forms of lostness that need finding .
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We worship a seeking and finding God . We have been sought out and found by a Savior . He reproves the unruly in order to invite us to come seek help . Come now , let us reason together , says the Lord : though your sins are like scarlet ,
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they shall be as white as snow . ( Isa . 1 : 18 ) This same Jesus comes rescuing and protecting the victimized . He is a refuge for the afflicted . We worship a seeking and finding rescuer , a protector of the innocent . He calls predators , liars , and betrayers to account . He comes to deliver victims from the pain and power of what their oppressors have done .
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In sum , the Lord has a highly positive view of sex . He has a highly negative view of immorality . And he has a deep concern both for the consensually immoral and for the victims of the criminally immoral . He has more mercy than we can imagine . Of course , there are not two gospels , one for sinners and one for sufferers ! There is the one gospel of Jesus Christ , who came to make saints of all kinds of sinner - sufferers and sufferer - sinners , whatever our particular configuration of defections and distresses .
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Other books are written for people who struggle with the impact of sexual betrayal , molestation , and assault . But this book will intentionally look in both directions . Sin and affliction are different in kind . What you do and what happens to you could not be more distinct . But both intertwine in the DNA of the human condition . A double helix of darkness twists through all human experience .
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But sanctification is about both transgressions and afflictions , and about the continual interplay between them . This is crucial , because it is true of both Scripture and life .
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It is a decided mark of wisdom that our sins come to afflict us , not delight us .
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A theme runs throughout the book : “ I am sure of this , that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ ” ( Phil . 1 : 6 ) . Notice that this sentence is not first about finding personal assurance . It communicates Paul’s confidence regarding God’s renewing work in other people , our brothers and sisters . Our Father has begun a process in you and in me that he will finish when we see Jesus Christ face - to - face . What will this lifelong process look like ? How do we get from here to there ? How does degradation transform into beauty ? What’s the battle like ? We’re somewhere in the middle , but the Spirit of life has begun a good work . And God always finishes what he begins .
2 Making Renewal Personal
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As with most human struggles , there is often an intricate dance between what arises from inside us and what assaults or beguiles us from the outside .
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Jesus’s mercies make all things new . His grace is a most versatile stain remover . He redeems both the wayward and the wounded . His wisdom puts sex in its proper perspective . He goes to work on us . He works in us for as long as it takes . He does not give up . He will not give up on you .
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Perhaps you’ve been grievously wronged sexually and have lived a nightmare . But you long for light . The longing for goodness and peace is a blossom of light pulling you in the direction of more light . Kyrie eleison — Lord , have mercy , you who bind up the brokenhearted . Jesus blesses those who hunger and thirst for everything wrong to be made right . Or , perhaps you’ve been wrong sexually and have lived in a fantasyland of lewd , nude , and crude . But you feel sick and tired , dirty and ashamed . Honest guilt and longing for good are blossoms of light . Your sins delight you less and less ; they afflict you more and more . Kyrie eleison — Lord , have mercy , you whose mercies are new every morning . Whenever people know they need help from the Savior , then they’re
3 Renewing All That Darkens Sex
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He has no excuse at all . But a significant life pressure and loss has changed their marriage , providing a context in which he has sinned rather than learned the harder kinds of love and self - control .
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So the world around us plays liar , aggressor , and accuser . The human heart generates both desire and condemnation . The Evil One lies , allures , murders , degrades , and accuses . And then there is all the ordinary affliction , disappointment , and loss . We have many knots to disentangle in the renewal of our sexuality .
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The most obvious forms of sexual darkness involve the sins of overt immorality . There are countless ways that sexuality veers into nonmarital eroticism . Sex can become a carnival of intoxicating fires , a dreamworld of erotic arousal , predatory instinct , manipulative intention , and the pursuit of carnal knowledge . In a nutshell , in each of the many forms of wrong , a person copulates with the wrong object of desire . Sexual love flourishes as a loving intimacy between a husband and wife . But desires are easily distorted and actions misdirected . Such miscopulation can occur either in reality or in fantasy . These are the typical red - letter , on - the - marquee sins .
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So what do adultery , fornication , pornography , homosexuality , prostitution , rape , pedophilia , bestiality , voyeurism , incest , fetishism , sadomasochism , transgenderism , and polyamory have in common ? You copulate , in person or in your imagination , with the wrong object of desire . 2 Others become objects of unholy desire . Our culture earnestly tells us that the desires we discover within ourselves define us . Scripture is more realistic . By impulse , orientation , inclination , tendency , habit , and instinct , our desires mislead us . Sexual immoralities , either in fantasy or in interpersonal transaction , are the obvious ways in which human sexuality is misdirected into overt sins .
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By realigning who you most love with all your heart , soul , mind , and might , he rightly orders all secondary loves .
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Jesus Christ is about the reality business . An old prayer gets things straight : “ Grant that I may not so much seek . . . to be loved as to love . ” 3 Jesus teaches us how to be committed , patient , kind , protective , able to make peace , keeping no record of wrongs , merciful , forgiving , generous , and all the other hard , wonderful characteristics of grace .
4 Renewal Is Lifelong
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And if you promise easy , once - for - all victories to others , then you’ll never be much help to other strugglers . God works organically in our lives . Organic growth has integrity . God works step - by - step . He walks with you . He’s always interested in how you take your very next step . Walking through life with him feels right . You’re going somewhere . The day of “ completion ” will not arrive until the day when Jesus Christ arrives ( Phil . 1 : 6 ) . When we see him , then we will be like him ( 1 John 3 : 2 ) . Only when God lives visibly in our midst will all tears be past ( Rev . 21 : 3 – 4 ) . Someday , not today , everything being renewed will be entirely new ( Rev . 21 : 5 ) . Much of the failure to fight well , befriend well , pastor well , and counsel well arises because we don’t really understand and work well with this long truth . Consider two specific implications . First , sanctification is a direction you are heading . Second , repentance is a lifestyle you are living .
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much the best life faileth , ” and so all of us must “ live alone by mercy . ” 1 And as John Newton sang : Through many dangers , toils , and snares I have already come , because grace has brought me safe thus far , and grace will lead me home . 2
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Disciple is the most common New Testament identity describing God’s people . A disciple is simply a lifelong learner of wisdom , living in relationship to a wise master . The second most common identity , son / daughter / child , embodies the same purpose . By living in lifelong relationship to a loving Father , we learn how to trust and love in practical ways day by day .
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The key to getting a long view of sanctification is to understand direction . What matters most is not the distance you’ve covered . It’s not the speed you’re going . It’s not how long you’ve been a Christian . It’s the direction you’re heading .
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No more adultery or homosexual encounters : you break it off once and for all . Never again . It sometimes happens like that . Not always , of course , but a gazelle season is a joy to all .
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Some people crawl on their hands and knees for a long or short season . Progress is painful . You’re barely moving . But praise God for the glory of his grace , you are inching in the right direction . And there may be times when you’re not even moving — stuck in gridlock , broken down — but you’re still facing in the right direction . That’s Psalm 88 , the “ basement ” of the Psalms . The writer feels dark despair — but it’s despair oriented in the Lord’s direction . In other words , it’s still faith , even when faith feels so discouraged you can only say , “ You are my only hope . Help . Where are You ? ” That kind of prayer counts — it made it into the Bible .
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God manages to work his wonder - working power in and through all of the above scenarios ! God’s people need to know that so someone else’s story doesn’t set the timetable for how Christ’s grace is working out in your life . By the way , everything I’ve just discussed applies in every area of life , not just with the renewal of sexuality .
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The trumpet call , thesis number 1 of Luther’s Ninety - Five Theses , was this : “ When our Lord and Master , Jesus Christ , said ‘ Repent , ’ He called for the entire life of believers to be one of repentance . ” That dismantled all the machinery of religiosity and called us back to human reality . Luther glimpsed and aimed to recover the essential inner dynamic of the Christian life . It is an ongoing change process . It involves a continual turning motion , turning toward God and turning away from the riot of other voices , other desires , other loves .
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This life is not righteous , but growth in righteousness ; it is not health , but healing ; not being , but becoming ; not rest , but exercise ; we are not yet what we shall be , but we are growing toward it ; the process is not yet finished , but it is going on ; this is not the end , but it is the road ; all does not yet gleam in glory , but all is being purified .
5 Renewal Is a Wider Battle
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Why did his collection of truths and techniques never seem to warm up and invigorate the quality of his relationships with God and people ? Is the centerpiece of the Christian life really an endless cycle of “ I sin . I don’t sin . I sin . I don’t sin . I sin . ” What were we missing ?
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If you have any pastoral care genes in you , you light up at an answer like that . Repeated patterns always prove extremely revealing on inspection . I asked , “ Why does sexual sin surface on Friday night ? What’s going on with that ? ” He said , “ I turn to pornography as my temper tantrum at God . ”
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‘ God has cheated you . If only I had a girlfriend or a wife . I can’t stand how I feel . Why not feel good for a while ? What does it matter anyway ? ’ Then I take the plunge into sin . ”
6 Renewal Is a Deeper Battle
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Though it’s rarely that dramatic , anger frequently plays a role in immorality . A teenager finds sex a convenient way to rebel against and to hurt morally upright parents . A man cruises the Internet after he and his wife exchange words . A woman masturbates to fantasies of former boyfriends after she and her husband argue . In all these situations , the redemption of dirtied sexuality can only happen alongside the redemption of dirtied anger .
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She is an extreme case . But many people , especially early in their becoming “ sexually active , ” are significantly pressured by desires to be acceptable , by fears of rejection , by desires to be loved in nonsexual ways . Sexual behavior can be an instrument in the hands of nonsexual cravings .
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Interesting , isn’t it ? Mercy ministry to financial needs played a significant role in reducing a woman’s vulnerability to one particular sort of sexual temptation . She needed counsel , too , in order to run further
7 Renewal Brings an Increasingly Subtle Struggle
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Is it possible to alter the subtle tendencies that pattern how you look at people ? Yes . The Holy Spirit is about this business . It takes a while : a lot of walking on the paths of light , a lot of needing God and loving God , a lot of receiving his mercies , a lot of learning to genuinely love people .
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One of the deep truths of sanctification is that you get better and worse at the same time ! You
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The children of God [ are ] freed through regeneration from bondage to sin . Yet . . . there still remains in them a continuing occasion for struggle whereby they may be exercised ; and not only be exercised , but also better learn their own weakness . In this matter all writers of sounder judgment agree that there remains in a regenerate man a smoldering cinder of evil , from which desires continually leap forth to allure and spur him to commit sin .
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you or forsake you . ” Fears , shame , confusion , a sense of abandonment , and painful self - condemnation can continually darken the human heart . Fears are false prophets , breathing threats and prophesying disaster . When fear and trembling seize the soul , the impulse to flee is strong .
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The first four beatitudes emphasize our need , dependency , and submission to God . The second four move toward strength , generosity , purity of motive , fruitfulness in helping other people , and courage and joy when life is hard . The Beatitudes map out how you find help in your own struggles and how you become helpful to other strugglers .
8 Remembering the Goal of Renewal
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Get your goals straight . It heightens the significance of your Savior . He alone restores you to practical love for God , to the practical , familial love appropriate for each of your various kinds of neighbors , and to the practical sexual love that is one part of all that is appropriate in marriage . Christ makes everyday life shine with visible glory .
9 Getting Down to Today’s Skirmish in the Great War
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Just as we don’t change all at once , so we don’t take in all of truth in one massive Bible transfusion .
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We are simple people . You can’t remember ten things at once . Invariably , if you could remember just one vital truth in the moment of trial and then seek your God , you’d be different . Bible verses aren’t magic . But God’s words are revelations of God from God for our redemption . When you actually remember God , you do not sin . The only way we ever sin is by suppressing God , by forgetting , by tuning out his voice , switching channels , and listening to other voices . When you actually remember , you actually change . In fact , remembering is the first change .
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times , “ I am with you . ” Those are his exact words . How does taking that to heart utterly change the script of your sexual darkness ? What if you are facing a temptation to some immorality ? For starters , nothing is private ; no secrets are possible . “ I am with you . ” “ I . . . am . . . with . . . you . ” Say it ten different ways . Say it back to him , the way Psalm 23 : 4 does : “ You are with me . ” Slow it down . Speed it up . Say it out loud . You’ll probably find that you immediately need to say more : “ You are with me . Help me . Make me know that . Have mercy on me . Don’t forsake me . I need you . Make me understand . ”
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Someone’s manipulative and violent lust violated you ; the steadfast love of God never betrays you .
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We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it, step-by-step in real life. Walking in the light is not magic. When you can see the fork in the road more clearly (today’s skirmish), and when you see and hear your Lord more clearly (something he says), then you start needing, start talking, start trusting. And then you start making the hard, significant, joyous choice to love people today.